


Never.

by carrrrrollllll



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Mutual Pining, just fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-23 01:44:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14321790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carrrrrollllll/pseuds/carrrrrollllll
Summary: Rey's been in love with a Ben Solo for a while now.





	Never.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first ever complete fic/one-shot. I was inspired by the song 'Dress' by Taylor Swift. The song is very sexy but I still have no idea how to write smut so I kept it pretty fluffy. I'm a creative writing major and I've mostly focused on non-fiction so it was a lot of fun trying something different. I just love my space babies and had been reading a lot of Reylo material. So I thought it would be cool to give it a shot. Any feedback is appreciated!

It was New Year’s Eve and there was a party a Finn and Poe’s place that night. Ben was dressed in all black. His tailored suit complimented his strong build and hugged his body in all the right places. He held a glass of whiskey in his hand and was chatting with another party guest. His black hair that stopped just above his shoulders moved with his head whenever he would nod or laugh. 

Rey saw him from across the room and her breath hitched a little bit. He almost never dressed up but when he did, it was like seeing a Greek god walk the earth. She didn’t realize she was staring until his eyes met hers and they exchanged a look. 

Rey quickly glanced away and went to get a drink. She was going to need one…or five. She loved to admire Ben from afar. They had been friends for a very long time and if she was honest with herself she had always carried a torch for him. 

They were best friends after all. She knew she could talk to him about anything and vice versa. They had spent so much of their lives together ever since they met in the laundry room of their college dorm, freshman year.  
\----  
Back then, his hair was buzzed so it showed off his ears that stuck out a little. He hated his ears but his mother had insisted that he try a grown-up haircut for college. Rey had just recently decided it would be a cool idea to bleach her hair. College was making her feel free and like she could do whatever she wanted. So she did. 

They were both doing laundry when they first spoke. His nose was buried in a book as he sat on top of one of the machines while he waited for the load to finish drying. Rey walked in with a mesh bag full of dirty clothes that desperately needed to be cleaned. Her dark roots were starting to grow in and stood out against the almost white rest of her hair. She had on a pair of old sweatpants and a Star Wars t-shirt that an ex-boyfriend had forgotten to get back from her. 

Ben was still reading and didn’t pay any attention to the girl that had just walked in until she addressed him directly. 

“Hey, are you using the washer your sitting on? Cause I really need to wash my stuff and all of the other machines are being used or broken.” She asked him, hazel eyes sparkling. 

Ben had never talked to someone so pretty before, even though she was obviously in laundry day clothes, it didn’t detract from her smooth tan skin littered with freckles and cute dimples that sunk in when she smiled at him. He did realize he was staring at her and she was starting to get uncomfortable. She cleared her throat. Ben immediately jumped up off the machine and onto the other one that had his drying clothes. 

“Uh – no sorry, you can use it,” he stammered. 

“Thanks,” she smiled at him again and his heart practically flew up his chest and through his throat. 

“No worries,” He managed to respond. 

She placed an earbud into her right ear and began loading the clothes into the washing machine. She didn’t realize she was humming along to the music until she was knocked out of her zone. 

“You like Fleetwood Mac?” he asked. 

She hadn’t heard him properly though so pulled out the earbud. 

“I’m sorry what?” she asked.

“Fleetwood Mac, you like them?” he asked again. 

“Oh yeah, love them actually. I’m a sucker for 70s Rock.” 

“That’s cool,” He nodded, closing his book. “I’m more of a 90s Grunge kind of guy myself but I can appreciate the classics.” 

She raised an eyebrow at him. 

“They are classics for a reason,” she replied.

Ben didn’t have any friends at college and his mom made him promise to actually try and make some. Why not her?

“I’m Ben by the way.” 

“Rey.”  
\----  
When Rey was finished with her second glass of champagne, she grabbed another. She cradled the third glass while looking at photos on the shelf that depicted Finn and Poe in exiting and beautiful places. After they had gotten married they decided to take a year and travel the world. They somehow came back even more in love than they were on their wedding day. Rey felt a pang of jealously creep up inside her chest. She was happy for them but sometimes she wished she had someone to share her life with. 

She was specifically captivated by a photo of Finn and Poe both posing in front of the leaning tower of Pisa as if they were trying to hold it up. It was incredibly cheesy but they looked incredibly happy.  
“Hey, I haven’t gotten a chance to say hi to you yet.”

She turned around to find Ben standing there, tall and beautiful as he was. She blushed a little and tried to hide it by taking a sip of the champagne and then smiling back at him. He leaned in and gave her a hug. Rey hugged him back and relished in his smell that was a combination of cologne and Ben. She could stay there forever, but it ended and he looked at her with sparkling eyes. 

“You look amazing by the way. I really love that dress on you.” He complimented.

“Stop, this old thing?” she joked, “Just something I had in the back of my closet.” She was starting to feel a little tipsy, only enough to help her relax though.

He chuckled, “Well, it looks amazing,” he replied with a smile that set Rey’s chest on fire. 

Rey knew he was going to be there tonight and so she may have been intentional with the dress she had picked. She practically bought it and wore it in the hopes he would like it. What she would give to have him take it off of her. 

It was during moments like these, where it was just them in a crowded room, where she asked herself why she didn’t just tell him how she felt. 

Because it could totally ruin your friendship! The voice of reason would respond. 

Their friendship had always been flirtatious and their friends would joke about how they acted like a married couple. Finn would tease her and say that one day she and Ben would have to “stop being so blind and finally admit that they were meant for each other.” Rey would laugh and pretend that Finn was crazy. She would insist they were just best friends, but deep down, she knew that was exactly what she wished would happen. 

They were now both looking at the photos on the shelves. Rey was desperate to look at anything but his gorgeous face. Most of the time she was able to keep her cool and just be Rey around him but when he was all dressed up and strutting around confidently, she could barely ignore the feeling that started to pool in her lower abdomen. 

They hadn’t seen each other in a couple months and took their time to catch up. Sure, they had texted and called but it was only small moments here and there. They moved to the couch and sat so that they could face each other and talk. Rey finished her glass and got a fourth. 

Work had been good for Ben. He’d just been promoted and he was really excited to start working on a new project that he’d proposed. Rey was doing good as well. She was finishing up her Ph.D. in mechanical engineering and was set to finish soon. She already had a few job offers lined up for after graduation. 

They talked about their holidays spent with their respective families. Ben, with his parents and Rey, with her adopted mother Maz. Rey loved Ben’s parents. Especially his father, Han, because he was the one that showed her what it was like to be a real engineer and that pushed her to finally pick a field and pursue it. But soon enough, they were giggling about how Rey’s neighbors were too loud when they had sex. Rey described how horrible it was, especially since her bed and their bed shared a wall. 

“It’s like they never stop. The sun goes down and the moaning begins!” she half-laughed half-whined. 

“Now I know what to get you as a late Christmas present,” Ben replied, chuckling. 

“What?” 

“Noise cancelling headphones.”

And they were in a fit of giggles. 

It was starting to get close to midnight. The announcer on the NYE program on TV was pointing to the clock as it was counting down. Twenty more minutes and it would be a new year.

“You know, Poe wants to set me up with some girl that works in his office.” Ben mentioned casually. 

Rey looked across the room, took a sip of champagne, and tried to play it cool. 

“Oh?” 

“Yeah, he says that I would like her.” 

“Oh.”

“Have you been seeing anyone?” he asked. Her head snapped up and she saw him looking down into the glass he held in his hand. He almost looked bashful. She swallowed the lump in her throat. 

“Not really. I’ve been busy with school. I went on a few dates a couple months ago but nothing came of it,” she responded. It was quiet for a minute, and Ben was the one who finally broke the silence. 

“I was thinking about it the other day and I realized out of all the years I’ve known you, you’ve never really had a boyfriend.” 

“Is that so?” 

“Yep. You went on dates and stuff but no one ever stuck. Even the ones I liked,” he teased and nudged her with his elbow. He paused then asked her, “Why?” 

“You really need to reconsider spending your precious time thinking about something more important than my lack of love life,” she retorted in an effort to avoid the question. He laughed.

“Really though, I’m curious.” He pushed. 

Because I’m in love with you. She thought.

“I-I don’t know. I guess I never found the right guy,” she shrugged.

He opened his mouth like he was going to say something but instead, hummed a “Hmm,” in response. It was her turn to ask a question.

“Do you think you’re going to go out with Poe’s friend?” she asked him shyly.

“I don’t know.” 

“Why not?”

There was a long pause. 

“Because…I have feelings for someone else.” He responded quietly. 

Rey’s heart started to pound so hard she could feel it in her ears. She placed the champagne glass on the coffee table because her hands were starting to shake a little. She crossed her arms in front of her chest hoping it would disguise their involuntary movements. 

What Ben had also failed to recognize was that he too had barely dated other people during the time since they had become friends. He had had girlfriends and Rey had been jealous but there was no way that he knew that. No one knew about her feelings for him and she intended to keep it that way. Her feelings were better kept in a safe place, buried deep deep down. 

Rey didn’t know that she hadn’t responded to his comment when he spoke again. 

“Can we go talk somewhere quiet? The chatter in the room is starting to give me a headache,” he asked.

Rey nodded so he took her hand and started leading her down the hallway but not before she finished off that last glass of bubbly in one swig. She followed him into Poe and Finn’s bedroom. The alcohol was making her feel warm and tingly all over and especially tingly where he held her hand. 

He closed the door behind them after they entered the room and then he just stood there. The alcohol was also making her mute so she just stood there as well. He was, once again, the one to finally break the silence. 

“Did I tell you how much I love that dress you’re wearing?” 

Rey grinned, blushing, “Yeah you said that already.”

“I did? I’m sorry, I guess I’m just nervous.” 

This puzzled Rey because she couldn’t think of a reason why he would be nervous so she ignored that comment. She was actually nervous though. They had been friends for years and it took her a while to realize that she wanted him to be more than a best friend. But once she did figure it out, it had been complete torture to be around him. The funny thing is that before, as friends, they were very physically affectionate with each other. But that was just because they were comfortable together. Now, every time she and Ben touched, it burned her skin like fire.

She realized that it may have come off as distancing herself from their friendship but she tried to limit her contact with him. The fact of the matter was, that she knew he didn’t feel the same way and she wasn’t willing to put the friendship (or her emotions) on the line.

So now standing in a room with him, alone was sending all kinds of alarm bells off in her head. He took a step closer to her and she reflexively took a step back. She could tell that this confused him and it only made her feel worse. 

“Rey, is everything okay? You’ve been acting a little weird tonight,” he asked. 

No, nothing is okay. I’m drunk and I’m in love with you and I don’t know if I can trust myself to be alone around you. She thought.

She realized that maybe it would be best to keep her mouth shut so she just grinned and nodded. Ben went over and sat on the bed. He clasped his hands and rested his elbows on his knees. It looked like he was contemplating something. 

“What are you thinking?” Rey asked, sitting on the bed next to him but with a safe six inches of space between them. 

“I have something I want to tell you but I don’t know how.” 

“What is it? Is everything okay? Is your mom okay?” she questioned. 

“My mom’s fine,” he responded, placing his hand on her knee, Rey’s heart leapt.

“It’s nothing serious…Well it is serious but not life and death serious,” he continued. 

“Well…out with it then,” she pushed. She had no idea what it was that he wanted to talk about, but it must’ve been important if he needed to tell her in the middle of a party. She moved so that she was sitting and facing him on the bed.

“If you could go back and re-do one thing in your life, what would it be?” he asked her. 

Where was this coming from?

“I don’t know. I don’t think about it too much. You can’t change the past, even if you want to,” she replied. He didn’t say anything else, he just took a deep breath. 

“Why? Is there something you with you could change?” she asked him. 

Ben had shifted so he was now facing her but his eyes were glued to his hands in his lap. 

“Do you remember the first time we met?” he asked her. 

“Yes, I was during laundry in the dorm,” she smiled at the memory. He was so quiet at first but when he asked her about Fleetwood Mac, it opened the floodgates for their friendship. They had been practically attached at the hip ever since.

“I would re-do that day,” he stated simply. 

“What?” Rey was confused. 

He looked up at her now with those eyes that she had looked into so many times but this time something was burning inside them. She loved his eyes, they were gentle and kind and were a perfect reflection of who he was as a person. 

“If I could go back in time and change one thing about my life, I would’ve handled that day differently,” he admitted. 

Rey didn’t know why but her heart was racing and her hands were shaking again. 

“Why?” she asked. 

“Because…” he paused, “I should’ve known then, that…”

“That what, Ben?”

“That I was going to fall in love with you.” 

So there it was. For a moment, Rey didn’t realize that he had actually said it. She was surprised. There was no way he had actually just said that. 

“Rey, say something,” he pleaded. 

Ben, the boy she had bonded with from day one. The boy who had been there for her through every good and bad thing that happened to her. The boy that had left an indentation in her life. And the man she had fallen in love with, had just said what she had wanted to hear for so long

“Rey, pl—”

“Do you mean it?” she demanded.

“That I love you?” he asked.

She nodded.

“Of course. Rey I love y—”

“I love you too.” 

His head snapped up he looked at her. 

“What?”

Her eyes were glistening a little and she was smiling. She scooted closer to him, put her arms around his neck and looked directly into his eyes. 

“I said…” she paused, “I love you too.”

They could hear all of the people out in the living room counting down. 

4…

Ben put his hand to her cheek and smiled like he was the happiest person in the galaxy. Rey’s hand came up and held his and she smiled back at him with the same sentiment. 

3…

He glanced down at her lips and started to move closer, his face approaching hers. His expression had changed from joy to yearning.

2…

All of the silence and patience, pining and anticipation had led to this moment.

1…

He was moving too slow and before she knew it the liquid courage inside her made her take his face and crash her lips to his. At first the kiss was aggressive and hungry but as the adrenaline started to dissolve, it turned sweeter. They had both wanted this for a while now and it was like they were finally able to show each other how much they cared, after all this time. 

His lips were softer than she had ever fantasized and she melted into him right away. His hands moved so that one was holding her waist while the other caressed her cheek. She took the liberty to thread her fingers into his hair that was so soft and thick. He moaned a little when her finger nails lightly grazed his scalp. This made her smile into the kiss and then giggle. This broke the kiss apart. 

He searched her eyes for something to explain her sudden outburst of laughter. 

“Why are you laughing?” he asked.

“It’s just…I’ve wanted this for so long and I never thought it would happen. And there you were, moaning…because of my kiss!” she laughed. Then something suddenly switched and tears began falling down her cheeks. Happy tears.

“I’m just so happy you said it,” she said, smiling through the tears. 

“Me too,” he smiled.

He then pulled her into an embrace and it was as if she was formed to fit perfectly against his body.  
\----  
They left the party together, holding hands and smiling like idiots. Finn and Poe looked very confused but they were out the door before anyone could stop them. It was raining outside but they decided to run to Rey’s apartment that was only a couple blocks away. It would be faster than Uber. By the time they got into the small one-bedroom apartment they were soaking wet and shivering from the cold. 

For a moment, they stood in the doorway dripping and staring at each other. Ben smiled timidly. Rey was still clutching her purse. At that time, it felt like the only thing that was grounding her to reality. So much had changed in the past thirty minutes. Up until their moment in Finn and Poe’s bedroom, she was convinced she would have to spend her life hopelessly in love with someone who wouldn’t love her back. Rey was grateful that Ben had more courage than she did because it was unexpected and wonderful and just so amazing to hear those words come from his mouth. 

His mouth. It was the most delicious thing she had ever tasted and she wanted more. She placed her purse on a side table and turned to look at Ben. His wet clothes were gripping every contour of his body and all Rey wanted to do was touch him and kiss him until he made that moaning sound again. 

As if he had read her thoughts, Ben suddenly closed the distance between them so he was standing right in front of her, their chests touching. He grabbed her arms and gazed into her eyes. 

“Can you believe we wasted so much time just being friends?” he wondered.

“I don’t think it was a waste. You’ve been the best thing about my life these past years.” 

“Really?” he smiled. 

“Absolutely.” 

Then he looked at her with a mischievous glint in his eyes. 

“So you’re saying you don’t wish I could’ve done this a long time ago?” he asked and bent down and placed a soft kiss on her lips. 

Her eyes fluttered shut as he deepened the kiss. His hands slid down the curve of her back as he pulled her closer and her hand went up to trace the angle of his jaw. Just as she was getting comfortable, Ben pulled away and she whined a little in response. 

“Well?” he teased. 

“Can we please stop dwelling on what we could’ve done and focus on what we can do right now?” she responds while starting to walk. Rey grabbed his hand and pulled him in the direction of the bedroom but before they enter he stopped. 

“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked her in a moment of self-doubt. He looked timid and Rey realized that he was just as afraid of rejection as she was. 

She looked up at him tenderly and caressed his cheek. 

“I’ve never been so sure about something in my entire life,” she reassured him. And that was the truth. 

“Because I love you so much and I can’t believe this is happening and I don’t want to do anything that you aren’t okay with and—” she cut him off.

“Ben, up until a little while ago, I thought that you would never feel the same way about me and now here we are and I know it’s okay.”

“But Rey, what if I mess it up? I don’t want to lose you, I can’t lose you,” 

“It’s a risk I’m willing to take. But do you know what I think?” she replied, “You’re my person. The universe put you in my life for a reason and I’m never going to let you go. Understand?” 

“Never?” 

“Never.”

“Then let’s get you out of that dress.”  
\----  
Years later…

It’s New Year’s Eve and the kids had fallen asleep way before the ball got even close to dropping. They were now tucked in and would wake up in a new year. Rey was cleaning the last of the dishes when Ben came up and wrapped his arms around her waist and placed a kiss on the back of her neck.

“I have a present for you.” He whispered in her ear. 

“Really?” she queried as she dried that last plate. 

“Come with me.”

He grabbed her hand and led her to their bathroom where there were rose petals on the floor, an open bottle of wine, and a bathtub full of warm water and soap suds. 

“Just something small to celebrate our anniversary,” he said sweetly. 

She beheld him and she couldn’t believe that this man was hers. She remembered seeing him for the first time with his awkward ears and fresh face. His hair was longer now, the way he liked it, and there were a couple more wrinkles around his eyes but he was the same man. 

“I love you,” she stated purely. 

They sat in the bathtub together drinking wine and laughing at how cute it was that the kids wanted to stay up until the new year. Rey felt like the luckiest woman in the universe. Even when she spilled wine in the bathtub because he made her laugh and kissed her. It was because she knew that he too, felt just as lucky. Since that New Year’s Eve all those years ago, Rey had kept her promise. She never let Ben go and neither did he.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I hope you liked it! Any feedback is welcome. As a creative writing major, it's sometimes hard to get out of the constant mentality to revise but I want to know what you thought! Comments give me life!


End file.
